Pediatrician, Poison Control and a Platoon of ants came marching in....hurrah hurrah

Yesterday's day was so ridiculous that I must record it or I'll think back on it and not believe it actually happened.

9:50 am: Addison starts crying (up all night, which was why she slept in), I go into her room to find her naked, wet diaper on floor, covered in poop, which is also smeared all over her crib and PotteryBarn bedding.
9:52 : I throw her in bathtub and hose her down
9:54:  Hunter decided he wants to take a bath and starts taking all his clothes off, trying to climb in my now poop filled bathtub.
10:00: Both kids are now in our master bathtub playing happily as I carefully pry all bedding off crib.
10:10: Ding Dong! A new college student to our ministry arrives for our breakfast meeting
10:12: Me and two half naked wet children come downstairs to greet our sweet visitor, Kate.
10:15: Try to make chocolate chip pancakes as Hunter spills pancake mix everywhere
10:20: Look at Addison to discover she looks like she got into a UFC fight, her eye and chin is swollen and red.
10:30: Call Pediatrician, give Benadryl
10:40: Eat pancakes and enjoy a discussion with Kate (while Addison spills a box of Cheerios on carpet)
11:30: Say goodbye to our guest, vacuum up cheerios.
11:30: Try to clean the rest of Addison's morning surprise and notice that the children are both very quiet.
12:00: Call Poison Control.  (Kids knocked Pepto Bismol tablets from top shelf in pantry and decided to try a few)
12:30: Put Addison to bed, collapse in a heap.
3:00: Hunter wants to play bubbles, and spills and entire bottle of bubble juice on floor.
3:30: Notice an army of ants that have come marching into our kitchen.
4:00: Wash all kitchen mats and vacuum (again)
5:00: Try to make dessert for our premarital counseling session tonight: Hunter wants to help.
5:37: BEEPING oven timer!! (AH! Burned the dessert b/c I was playing trains with Hunter)
6:00: Throw kids into van.
6:02: Forgot something: Got locked out of house, go around to get extra key
6:03: Go out into the rain to grocery store to buy new dessert: ice cream. (Praying that for once, as I check out there's not a kind old lady behind me telling me to "Enjoy these days! They go by so fast!" I could just see it now..."Local Pastor's Wife takes out old lady in Grocery Store Checkout Lane."
6:15: As I put the cart away, Hunter gets out of his carseat, throws open driver's side door and almost smashes the nice black BMW next to me...close call!
7:00: Make dinner, Doug walks in- exhausted from his nonstop day of ministry.
6:30: Throw kids in bathtub again, and make myself somewhat presentable for our company coming.
10:00: Watch Covert Affairs with Doug and fold a ginormous amount of laundry.
12:00: Roll into bed
1:00am: Addison crying
4:00am: Addison crying
5:00am Addison crying...We pretend not to hear
7:30am Hunter wakes up: "Mommy! Come downstairs with me!!!"

Drop the laundry or the dishes and sit down and play PlayDoh!

It is so easy to let the responsibilities and tasks of the day override our time with our kids.  I had recently bought a piece of furniture that I was painting and Doug and I were doing a host of other projects around the house that at the end of the night I felt like I literally put my kids in front of the TV all day.  I did get ALOT accomplished! (My Bible study was finished, laundry was folded, dishes were clean and put away, the floor got mopped, meal planning was done, budget was analyzed, phone calls were made, furniture was painted, and the upstairs got vacuumed...WOW! I feel proud of myself just typing my list- haha!)  But I really neglected spending time with the kids....how many times that day did I say to Hunter, "I can't play right now, honey... I will in a little bit." But, I never did.

I am reading "You've Got to Be Kidding! - Real life parenting advice from a mom and dad of nineteen" by Pat and Ruth Williams.   This morning's particular chapter was on spending quality and quantity time with our kids.

* Keep the main thing the main thing.
* Successful people almost always look back and say, "I regret that I did not take more time for my children when they were young and available to me and craved interactions. What I traded for those moments was not worth it."pg 54 
* Many things in life can wait.  But the child cannot.

Along with this is the valuable time we must put into our children's faith and character.

*"Its not about stuff.  It's about faith.  Its about believing in a God who tells us how to live." pg 61
* "If your Christianity doesn't work at home, it doesn't work." -Howard Hendricks
*" It's not just a Sunday thing.  It's how we live.  We want them to know that our faith is what sustains us during difficult times, gives us hope when the future looks scary, and lifts us up when the world tries to drag us down."pg 63

YOUR CHILDREN WILL NOT BE PERFECT!

I went for a walk around the neighborhood yesterday with a friend who had just delivered a precious baby boy.  We were sharing about how the dreams and expectations of sweet tender moments can be eclipsed by the exhaustion, fear, pressure, and feelings of inadequacy.  We get intensely discouraged when we see mothers of 4 and 5 children just breezing through life easily.  (If you are one of those moms, PLEASE contact me and let me know the secret!!)

I am picking up several bits of vital lessons that I must write down for my own benefit before I forget, and maybe they will be of some help to you as well.  :)

"My children's faith and character are more important than their accomplishments.  And MY faith and character are more important than my accomplishments." 

I don't know about you, but I struggle constantly against the media's portrayal that success is having children who are brilliant, athletically successful, socially accepted, and attractive.  And that as a mom, if my children are succeeding in life, that equals my success.  However, I am forgetting a major point:  I can do nothing good apart from Jesus!  Anything good that my children do is because of the grace of God!    God is the one who knows how best to parent my children, and I need to be asking for His guidance every step of the way.

My pastor's wife told me over lunch the other day...."Your children are not going to be perfect."
"WHAT?!!!!  WHAT DO YOU  MEAN?!"  I jokingly replied in an exaggerated tone. But I felt a deep sinking feeling in my heart.

Why?  I think I really have this expectation for my children to be perfect (not entirely of course, but close!)  I want them to do well in school, be excellent athletes, have lots of friends, love Jesus passionately, desire to go to church, get a free ride to college, marry someone we approve of, not make terrible decisions, honor us......and the list goes on.   YIKES!

OUR KIDS WILL NOT BE PERFECT!  They will be who God has created them to be, and yes, it is Doug and I's job to teach, shape and pray for them, but I need to let go of my unrealistic expectations, or I will end up being sorely disappointed.

It's time for the Bananas to Split!

Tomorrow, our "real life missionaries" Liz and Claire, leave for Thailand!  They have graduated from Mary Washington here in Virginia, and have quit their full time jobs to go around the world to teach English and share the gospel with a local church we have partnered with since Doug took the two of these girls along with a couple other of our college students last year to Bangkok, Thailand.  We will certainly  miss these beautiful smiling faces, but we know that God is going to do amazing thing through them!

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always." Matthew 28:19-20

If you are reading this, please pray for these young women as they will be there for one year.  Doug and 12 of our students from Spotswood Baptist will be (Lord willing) reuniting with them in August for a short term mission trip.

Here are their blog spots:
http://lizinbangkok.blogspot.com    http://claireinbangkok.blogspot.com
This is the Facebook page for the church: Lifepoint in Bangkok:
http://www.facebook.com/LifepointBKK

The definition of futility......

"Cleaning with children inside the house is like 

brushing your teeth while eating Oreos."

Today I took a shower, vacuumed the stairs, mopped the kitchen, washed the windows, cleaned the countertops, straightened the living room, took out the trash, and fed the kids.  But if you came into my house right now, you would call me a big fat liar. Why? Because somehow, in the last 30 minutes of the day it seems every time right before Doug gets home from work: the windows have new hand and mouth prints on them, the countertops are littered with cups and food and an indescribable goo, the carpets have dirt, my kids are hungry, I definitely don't look like I have showered today (or even for a week) and the trash has piled up again.

Why does it even surprise me anymore? Today, I was able to laugh, as in the amount of time it took me to drain the macaroni and cheese noodles, I hear Hunter say, "MOM! look!" and turn to see Addison has poured out a bag of potting soil onto the deck and is throwing it into the kitchen.  I hope to somehow clean this mess up again, throw my hair in a pony tail and make all look well and good before Doug comes home in 2.5 minutes, not that he would care.... but I care.  I worked hard to make it clean, and I want him to come home to a nice environment sometimes!  Sometimes cleaning IS futile...but necessary for my sanity.

Camping Memories

 Our church has been doing a series called "Family Ties" calling us to remember what is truly important in raising a family and teaching children to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, and strength.  This last week Pastor Stone and his wife Elaine discussed how they strived to create memories (mostly free memories like being outdoors) with their children.  We wanted this for our family, and so we set out for our first family camping excursion into the deep woods.  Armed with bug spray and s'mores we decided that we were not going to have high expectations of exhilaration and joy, due to the fact that we had an 18month old and a testy 3 year old....but we were determined, none the less.


Both of our parents took us camping when we were growing up, and I still can remember the feel of the wet dew on the grass when I woke up early in the morning, and Doug remembers bologna sandwiches and going fishing.  We had an absolutely beautiful spot deep into the woods (no electricity, no running water, no toilets) just us for miles and miles and miles.... an awesome fire and a running river next to us, we claimed our adventure!


While it was IMPOSSIBLE to get two little kids to stop jumping around inside the tent and go to SLEEP, it was really sweet to have Addison walk back and forth and give us kisses and say "Night Night!" 20 times, and to have Hunter curl up next to me with his breath heavy on my shoulder.

2 am in the morning....the thought running through my head? "Ok, Doug! I promise I will NEVER ask you to take us camping again! This is MISERABLE!!"  but if you can just somehow get yourself to sleep a couple of hours, waking up to coffee and eggs over a Coleman grill and going rafting down the river in the morning, well, that was worth it.

Warning! Parenting Magazines are your enemy!

Take all your Parenting magazines and toss them in the trash!  Okay, so maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but let me explain....  It all began with a conversation my husband and I were having on our long car trip back from Tennessee.

"Young moms are the most idealistic people I've ever met!" Doug said. "And you get so frustrated when things don't pan out the way that you imagined."  His statement was painfully true, because for the last half hour I had been lamenting on the woes of motherhood.  It was then that I picked up my newest Baby & Toddler magazine to brush up on new ideas on how to improve my mothering...which of course, I feel like I'm failing miserably at.  With every page that I turned I felt my self esteem plummet and my angst towards my children grow.  Can you guess why?

Page after page are photos of these beautiful doe eyed, clean and happy children just brushing their teeth obediently, standing still while their parents apply sunscreen, eating a forkful of vegetables, sitting attentively writing letters, calmly taking a bath and eagerly assisting with cooking dinner (without a smudge of ingredients on their hands or clothes!)

We have graduated from Romance Novels to Romantic Motherhood...neither of which are realistic, and both leave you severely disappointed.  Women are notorious for romanticizing  our relationships and our futures.  We compare ourselves to every photo-shopped bathing suit beauty in the press, and we when we think that we've risen above that and accepted our cushy bodies they way they are, we compare our children to other kids.  It's like we dream of living a life of Leave it to Beaver episodes, when in fact we are living out Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation.  When will it ever end?!

I propose a plan: Operation Real World. No, it doesn't involve writing to the editors of these magazines and asking them to include pictures of exhausted moms, belligerent children, and snotty nosed messy toddlers.  Whenever we feel overwhelmed by our real life children or feel second rate compared to super moms we meet, take a moment to look deeply into your child's eyes and smile.  Give them a hug, and say a prayer of thanksgiving for the blessing the Lord has entrusted to you.  Perfection is the enemy of relying upon the Lord!  No magazine can teach you how to parent the child God created for you to raise.

"The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised;
So shall I be saved from my enemies."  Psalm 18:1-3

* Side Note: of course, there is wisdom that can be gained from some parenting magazines, and as with all things in this world, we need to guard our  hearts & seek wise counsel.

Why are there army men in my underwear drawer?!

My husband and I really enjoy an orderly home, but you have to let a lot of things go when you're a parent of little ones.  I have enjoyed some humorous scavenger hunts for treasured items around the house, and you never know what you're going to find!

For example, I have three forks in the bathtub, an easter egg in the kitchen sink, cheerios in my pocket, pajamas on the front porch.  I have found a turkey baster, vacuum cleaner extension, and pipe cleaners (all used as makeshift swords) inside the van, as well as army men in my underwear drawer, golf balls under the couch, and a spaghetti colander in the bathroom.

Life is never dull around our house! I have learned to keep close tabs on the important things (mainly, the blankeys, pacifiers and the children of course!).  I'm sure I will miss these scattered days, but I don't think I will ever get used the feeling of stepping on a lincoln log or giant magnet barefooted in the middle of the night.

Our little Escape Artist

So, I go in to get Addison up in the morning, and she's just talking away having a good old time. I leave her in the crib to go put my contacts in and hear a "thud thud" followed by a distinctive cry.  I'm thinking, no big deal, she usually throws her head back against the crib protesting her continued "jail time" sentence begging for me to release her.  I go back into her room... and there's no Addison in her crib....

The door is open, Hunter's downstairs and my husband is asleep in bed, so.... where did she go?!

I found her walking around the top of the banister stairs, pacifer in mouth, blanket in hand, just cruising around like nothing happened! She looks at me with these big proud eyes as if to say, "well, you wouldn't come and get me, so I took care of the situation! Now, let's go get some breakfast!"

So, needless to say, I spent the entire rest of the day going around town shopping for baby gates to contain my little escape artist.  I knew this day would come- I just am happy it ended with no casualties!

I heard a friend say that her little brother figured out how to climb ON TOP OF THE REFRIGERATOR! He would go from chair to countertop, to microwave, to cabinets, to fridge. Addison climbs the chairs and the pantry shelves, but hasn't reached that level of insanity yet.  When she does, its gymnastics enrollment for us so she can learn how to fall safely! :)

Reflecting the Purpose and Personality of Jesus

This weekend we had a conference at church to help us with our discipleship and small group ministries.  We were blessed to have a very gifted and humble man, Tim Miller of Sevier Hights Baptist Church who leads a collegiate group of 1000+ come to speak and encourage us.
http://www.sevierheights.org/watch-and-listen/   (this is their church website)
http://insidethewalk.org/   (this is their college group)

He was speaking specifically to us regarding our small groups, but the implications also apply to us as moms, don't you think?  Here are some of his points.....

Reflecting the purpose and personality of Jesus (to my children and to other moms):
1. Wakes me up in the morning  (even at 6 or 2am!)
2. Give me meaning to the mundane  (diaper changes and making PB&Js)
3. Helps me to say "no" (to non-kingdom things that exhaust my resources so that I can have energy to say "yes" to my kids)

more to come on my notes from this conference later......  right now, I have to make my sweet energetic kids some dinner!

The Holy Spirit....the forgotten and unused Person of the Trinity

Wednesday night I was teaching a lesson on the Holy Spirit, and I was provided many opportunities to put into practice what I was "preaching"!  Addison is at the age where she thinks she should be able to do and have anything she wants and proceeds to scream and cry, throwing herself down if I don't concede to her desires.  Hunter is a typical three year old boy who just wants to be played with all day.  Every time I turned around, he was moving furniture, tackling Addison, climbing banisters, pulling out every toy, asking for more food, wanting me to play Go Fish, Play Doh, wrestle, cars, color, read, go outside in the rain, you name it!

I was tired, needing to study my lesson, REALLY needed to work on the mountain of laundry, and I couldn't stand my house being full of crumbs and toys no matter how many times I used the dustbuster or put things away!
Thinking back on my previous post on the lesson, I sincerely put every spare energy I had into praying for the strength of the Holy Spirit, and the peace and patience to finish strong.

Did you know that 38% of Christians "strongly agreed" that the Holy Spirit doesn't exist? (2009 Barna Study).  The Holy Spirit empowers, purifies, reveals, and unites us!  Jesus told his disciples that he will give them "another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth..... You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you."  (John 14:16)  Isn't that amazing?!  We have the power of the Trinity at work within us to glorify the Father!  While not always easy to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit, we must fight to allow Him to work in our lives instead of doing everything in our own frail power.

Thursday was much better because it began with MOPS and ended with my wonderful husband taking Hunter to the mall (clad in his Lightening McQueen pajamas...Hunter, not Doug!) and he treated him to a fun night of ChickfilA milkshake, Dicks Sporting Goods, and a special gift for me!  But the best gift was a QUIET evening of just me and Addison, reading books and playing together!

Thank you God, for not just providing us with your Words to us in writing, but for going above and beyond to allow the third Person of the Trinity to dwell inside the life of every Christ-follower!

Soccer Mom I am Not, Mother of the Year, I am definately Not!

There are some days as a mother that you finish your day looking in the mirror and think...."I did a pretty darn good job today!  I rocked my kids world."  Today was not that day. I don't know what happened! Other than lose my patience at every turn, this day was full of whining and crying and frustration....and that wasn't just me, it was both my kids, too! Today was Hunter's last day of soccer. We decided not to sign him up again for another 8 weeks because he didn't really seem to be falling in love with the activity.  Today affirmed our decision becuase he didn't touch the ball once, spent 80% of the time with his face pressed up against the plastic wall crying for me to get him out, the other 20% sitting on the rubber grass field, picking up pieces and throwing them up in the air.  Guess who did not feel like Mom of the Year? This girl right here! I tried emphathizing, I tried bribing with frozen yogurt and ChickfilA, I tried turning my back and pretending not to see him, I tried getting out on the field and running with him.  Nothing was doing the trick. 

The rest of the day went equally downhill.  Clinging to me all day were these two children who cried for no apparent reason, whined for everything and tested my every nerve.  Guess who went to bed an hour early? 

After a long bath and some reflection time, I know what went wrong.....I depended upon my own skill and poor judgements instead of praying at every turn for God's help.  So, if you find yourself staring in the mirror at an exhausted mom, take a step back and fall into the arms of Jesus, the true caretaker of your children, and the only One who knows how to parent them best.  Tell yourself that: "You don't have to be perfect. You are a great mother.  You are pretty enough, You are smart enough. And doggone it, your children love you!"

Turning off the TV is exhausting!

I have become more convicted of the role that the television is playing inside our house. I have never been one that likes constant noise, and I really don't enjoy having the TV on "in the background" while I go about the day, but I feel like my kids are still seeing too much television.  This weekend, my husband and I made a more concerted effort to play with our kids, be creative, and explore our world without the "free babysitter".  The boys were decked out in pirate bandanas and face gear, sword fighting  and wrestling.  Addison built a tower of blocks and raced cars up ramps, colored on paper (and her mouth), a 4 foot puzzle was completed, (mostly finished by Doug who is scarily fast at puzzles), books were read, dinner was made, a band was rehearsed, 1/2 a game of "Go Fish" was played, I tried to teach Hunter how to play "Twister" (unsuccessfully), wrestling tickling matches ensued, and baths were given.  Needless to say, at the end of the day, we were all exhausted!  

Success!

I am pretty impressed with myself that I found my blogspot online that I created yesterday, (although it does help that I kept the window up on my computer so I wouldn't forget the address!)

Hunter's watching Disney Channel right now, and I normally would demand he turn off Jake and the Neverland Pirates, but he's content right now, and Addison keeps coming up to me handing me torn off pieces of the tissue paper she's destroyed, and is now proceeding to put all the pieces back in the box...what a little helper.  :) I'm enjoying my children and my coffee this morning!
Anyways, its off to soccer practice today and then visiting one of the widows from our church.

my test run

We just got back from the 20/20 Conference at Southeastern Seminary, and I have been challenged to blog.  I feel overwhelmed at the moment, but determined to figure it out! This must be how my parents felt when they first tried texting.